RELATIONSHIP THESAURUS

ADULT CHILD & ELDERLY PARENT



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HELPFUL TIP:

Relationships are part of the very fabric of your character’s life. How well or poorly they get along with others oftentimes comes down to personality, so carefully consider the positive traits and negative traits of your story’s cast. Another factor that can pull characters together or create friction is motivation, so keep each individual’s goal—both at the scene and story level—in mind as you write.
DESCRIPTION:
The relationship between a child and their elderly parent can be riddled with challenges. Oftentimes, the child must care for the aging parent as the latter's health needs rise and their ability to maintain independence declines. But the roles are sometimes reversed, with an elderly parent still needing to fill the parental role for their adult child. If existing conflict is a major factor in the relationship, dynamics such as neglect, resentment, and strife may preclude each party from meeting each other's needs.

RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS:
Below are a wide range of dynamics that may accompany this relationship. Use the ideas that suit your story and work best for your characters to bring about and/or resolve the necessary conflict.

An elderly parent and adult child who speak everyday (via phone, Skype, FaceTime, etc.) and offer mutual support
The younger party caring for their aging parent in the child's home
The younger party caring for an aging parent who lives nearby, in their own home or a facility
An elderly parent who actively supports the child and their family (babysitting, driving them to the airport when they're going out of town, helping out financially, etc.)
An amiable relationship that is distant or superficial
One party only reaching out to the other when they need help
One party being ignored or neglected by the other
Personality differences or past wounds making intimacy between the parties difficult
One party verbally or physically abusing the other
A codependent dynamic
One party tolerating the other for short periods of time until they can't take being with them anymore
The two being unable to stay in the same room together
An estranged relationship between the two
The two parties openly feuding

CHALLENGES THAT COULD THREATEN THE STATUS QUO:
The elderly parent getting injured, falling ill, or receiving a life-changing medical diagnosis
The spouse of either party leaving or dying
Either party losing their home or financial stability
The elderly parent losing the ability to function independently (driving, maintaining property, caring for themselves, etc.)
The child moving far away
The child having a baby, causing an estranged parent to want to mend the relationship
The elderly parent changing their will in a way that impacts the child
The elderly parent re-marrying
The child no longer being able to pay for assisted living or in-home care for the aging parent
The elderly parent being the victim of a crime or abuse at the hands of a caregiver
Communication methods such as phone or email no longer being available
The elderly parent disagreeing with the child's choices
Either party revealing a long-kept secret
A repressed memory resurfacing that involves the two parties 
The child's spouse refusing to take part in the elderly parent's care
The elderly parent expressing end-of-life or palliative care preferences the child does not support

WOUNDS THAT COULD FACTOR INTO THE RELATIONSHIP:
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POSSIBLE CONFLICT SCENARIOS:
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CONFLICTING DESIRES THAT CAN IMPAIR THE RELATIONSHIP:
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CLASHING PERSONALITY TRAIT COMBINATIONS:
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NEGATIVE OUTCOMES OF FRICTION:
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FICTIONAL SCENARIOS THAT COULD TURN THESE CHARACTERS INTO ALLIES:
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WAYS THIS RELATIONSHIP MAY LEAD TO POSITIVE GROWTH:
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THEMES AND SYMBOLS THAT CAN BE EXPLORED THROUGH THIS RELATIONSHIP:
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